The Ways of Coping
by Facing Fear
Summary: The life of a shinobi is stressful and many rely on illicit drugs to relieve their stress. However, when things go too far and the very people who protect the village are negatively affected, who will watch the watchers? Mature Themes. Naruto x Hinata


A/N: This story shouldn't be long, about 5-7 chapters?

_Inspiration:_ People use drugs to cope with reality and troubles, I know I used to. So shinobi, being in that line of stressful work, probably use it, right? What if it goes too far? Who will watch the watchers? And this idea was conceived. Each chapter will feature a known drug and how our favourite blonde (nope, not the one with huge breasts) will react to it. Will he succumb to addiction? Keep reading, I don't even know myself!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters..._

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**The Ways of Coping**  
**Chapter 1: Alcohol**

_By Facing Fear_

_I miss the days of innocence, when I was just a Genin fresh out of the Academy, before I knew of war, destruction, immorality... But now, now I'm a 17 year old Jounin, scarred physically, mentally, and emotionally from everything I've experienced up to this point. From the Invasion of Konoha, Sasuke's Defection, and Jiraiya-sensei's death, I believe I can deem myself a learned person..._

_In all the wrong aspects of the world._

_Why was I writing this again? Oh yeah, Tsunade made me write this as a psychological evaluation after what happened in my last mission. She told me to write whatever I had in mind, and here I am ranting on a scroll which she'll read later._

_Hey grandma!_

_What happened on the last mission? Simple – I watched a 7 year old child die in my arms, as he cried for his mother, for water, for God. All I could do was stare in shock, he was bleeding out and nothing I could say or do could have saved him because my medical jutsu were nonexistent. I kinda wish Hinata or Sakura was with me, I'm sure either one of them could have saved his life._

_But enough with could have's, what happened happened, and here I am trying to cope with the "mental trauma" as Tsunade put it. I'm fine; I already coped, with the help of my friend sak__é. It was because of this event that I realized why shinobi had their vices._

_Jiraiya-sensei used to drink and peep at girls in order to cope with the horrors he'd seen._

_Kakashi-sensei would read porn to cope with his, or else he's at the Memorial Stone._

_Old Man Third smoked a pipe... and I'm more than sure it was something other than tobacco in there._

_Lee and Gai-sensei would work out until exhaustion forced their bodies to retire and forget about whatever they may need to deal with._

_Grandma Tsunade drank saké and gambled._

_And I'm currently drinking sake. Don't blame me, blame yourself because I got the example from YOU, Grandma, so I don't think you have the right to be grabbing the bottle away from me._

_Here's my paper for today, read and enjoy,  
Uzumaki Naruto_

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The blonde shinobi scratched his cheeks absent-mindedly before furling the scroll and throwing the pen over his shoulder. He was done with his report for his psychological evaluation and couldn't help but sigh in relief, having been working on the report for countless hours. Naruto grabbed an unusually large bottle of saké and drank directly from the bottle, downing the contents in a single pull. He threw it aside and grabbed another one.

"Stupid fox," he grumbled to no one in particular as he finished that bottle as well, "can't even let me get drunk properly."

But it seems as though the Uzumaki already reached his limit and promptly collapsed on the desk he wrote on, sound asleep and oblivious to the pains of the world due to his alcohol induced slumber. He breathed heavily; his sleep – to an innocent watcher – appeared to be one full of peace.

_Drip... Drip... Drip..._

Not for long however, because a few hours later he found himself in a sewer-like complex with an enormous cage ahead of him.

"**IDIOT!**" The Kyuubi yelled, "**Do you have any idea what this... this... **_**poison**_** is doing to you! To us?**"

"It's helping me sleep at night, that's what!" Naruto defended.

"**FOOL! If **_**you**_** die, **_**I**_** die, so I will not have you destroying your liver!**"

The demon container could sense the pure anger his captor was radiating but shrugged it off, opting to sit down in the corner of his mind and reminisce about what happened. The thoughts did not go unmissed by the Kyuubi, which made the beast scoff.

"**Still pitying that poor boy?**" He paced behind the cage, stopping now and again to look at the blonde, "**You're weak, emotions make you humans weak.**" He curled and closed his eyes.

Naruto stood up, "Sorry for having a heart you bastard. Just because you enjoy death and sacrifice doesn't mean I do." He snarled.

"**Shame, because if you did then my stay here will be **_**much**_** more pleasant.**" He grinned sinisterly, "**I will grant your desire, mortal, I won't do anything to your body as you indulge in vices that destroy your mind and soul. Rather, I'll wait and see what happens to you, before I kill you myself.**"

Before Naruto could reply, he felt a tugging presence in the physical world, "We're not done, I'll be back."

"**It's your mate, maybe she'll convince you to stop this **_**foolishness**_**.**"

Next thing the blonde knew he was staring at Hinata's pale eyes as she shook him awake, _Weird, how'd she get in?_ He shook his head and cleared his thoughts, mind a bit foggy because of the copious amounts of alcohol he drank. The teen stretched and yawned, popping his joints with an odd look of satisfaction.

_Mate? What the hell's the fox thinking?_

"Naruto-kun, we've been summoned to the Hokage Tower." Hinata said without as much a stutter or a missed syllable; being around the demon container for the past few years booster her confidence exponentially.

He grunted to let her know he heard and proceeded to take a shower, allowing the Hyuuga to make herself comfortable. The blonde however, grabbed a brown paper bag and threw it in her direction before heading to the bathroom. She caught it and peered inside causing her to smile warmly – cinnamon buns. Although not fresh or warm, she accepted them and proceeded to eat quietly. A few minutes of silence followed, broken only by the sounds of trickling water, before Naruto emerged clad only with a towel.

This time, Hinata couldn't help but blush.

He changed right then and there, dignity lost, decision making affected by his hangover, and didn't even realize his mistake until he heard a distinct thud. Hyuuga Hinata had fainted, her confidence (although much better than before) could only take her so far. Shrugging, the blonde woke her up gently after getting fully dressed in his black garb and attaching a canteen filled with saké.

"Mmmm, Naruto-kun?"

"Let's go." He said with a tired smile, "Tsunade's waiting for us."

She nodded and clasped his hand as he lifted her up. They left Naruto's apartment and headed for the Tower with a casual stroll since the summons wasn't really urgent. Plus, the blonde didn't really seem like himself this morning, or the past few weeks actually, and the girl was worried about him. She shook the thoughts out of her head; it would not do well to dwell on negativity right before a mission from the Hokage herself. Naruto sighed and pulled out his canteen drinking deeply from it, Hinata frowned as the scent of his drink reached her nose.

Saké? Early in the morning? It better not be. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or in this case, her crush drinking alcohol in her presence without anything kinky to back it up.

Grabbing the offending container from his hand Naruto squawked in surprise before Hinata emptied the contents in the middle of the street. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, the blonde _swore_ he heard the Kyuubi chuckle.

"Why'd you do that?" The demon container inquired.

"Because it annoyed me." The heiress replied casually.

He muttered darkly about hormones and they increased their speed towards the Hokage Tower. No longer drinking his thoughts made their way to the boy he saw die in his last mission...

"_AHHHHH!" He cried, blood pouring from his mouth, "AHH!"_

_Naruto cringed at the bloody mess but kept his hold on the child, he wanted to be there for him at the very end. It was the least he could do, having accomplished the mission at the cost of the child's life._

"_It hurts, it hurts..."_

"_Shhh..." The shinobi cooed, hoping to alleviate his pain, "It'll be gone soon, just... just be brave."_

"_I want my mommy." His tears flowed endlessly from his pained eyes, "Mommy! MOMMY!"_

"_No, kid, c'mon..." The Uzumaki's own tears began flowing, "Be strong, be strong."_

"_WAHHHH! MOMMY! Momm... Mmm... Mo... Mom... mmMOM! Mmm..."_

_And the cries subsided._

_Naruto was left alone with the dead body, the blood staining his clothes, his hands..._

_His soul..._

_And he cried, cried at the loss, at the waste, at the brutality conflict._

"_Why...?" He muttered shakily._

"Why...?"

"Why what, Naruto-kun?" The Hyuuga inquired.

Said person shook his head, "Nothing." Then remained silent for the remainder of the walk, _I really need a drink._

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The Hokage looked at Naruto inquisitively; her jaw clenched tightly, her eyes narrowed. The examinee in question retaliated with a frown, annoyed at the invasion of his personal space and grumbled audibly hoping to dissuade the older woman from continuing however, he failed and was prodded on the forehead rather rudely.

"You've been drinking." It wasn't a question.

"So?" Naruto reached into his back pocket and procured the scroll he wrote on the night before and gave it to Tsunade.

The Slug Summoner snarled, "You _reek_ of it. What the hell, brat? You're seventeen and you're already falling into one of the shinobi vices? How do you expect to take my position?"

"Surprising, Tsunade-_sama_," The male blonde emphasized the honorific mockingly, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say I'm perfect for the position _because_ of my drinking."

"That's not very nice, Naruto-kun." Hinata chided, "Apologize."

And he did, although half-heartedly.

The Hokage was starting to get annoyed at the teen before her, ever since _that_ mission he's never been the same, becoming more and more reclusive towards everyone and only appearing outside of his apartment to buy necessities. She hasn't even assigned him a mission for the past week, only an order to write a report to her every day on his thoughts, feelings, etc. Tsunade knew the consequences of having someone die in your mission, but for a child to die in your arms?

It only happened to a handful of shinobi in the village, usually resulting in negative repercussions.

Just look at Orochimaru...

"So?"

Naruto's voice cut off her musings and she sat down behind her desk, "I summoned you two here to give you a joint mission." The female blonde lifted various documents up to eye level, "A-Rank to the Land of Storms, escalated civil war, the lord of the place asked for our services.

"However, I don't feel that you," She singled out the demon container, "are in the right state of mind. I'll have to get someone else to do it."

"Hey! I'm absolutely fine, you haven't even read my report yet!" Naruto retorted.

The teen was livid; after weeks of no missions, he finally got one that was worthy of his efforts but is being snatched away from him! _I'm fine_, he reassured himself_, just a small sleeping problem that a little saké can help fix. Hinata's with me too, she's usually a calming presence for me._

"No, and don't try to argue I've already made up my mind." She skimmed the contents of the scroll and frowned.

"Do I still have to go, Hokage-sama?" Although Hinata no longer wanted to perform the mission since Naruto was gone, she still had to fulfill her duties as a shinobi of the Leaf.

The person in question shook her head, "No, it had to be both of you. Naruto's abilities and yours complement each other too well to be separated for this mission." Tsunade dug deep in her drawer and procured another mission scroll, "But, I do have another mission in mind for you two involving village business."

Naruto grumbled, "I'm pretty sure the civil war would've been better."

She waved the comment off, "This mission is of equal – if not, more – importance."

That peaked the two shinobi's attention.

"I'll be starting an undercover unit here in Konoha involving the control and containment of illicit drugs. I'm not talking about saké or cigarettes," The older blonde hastily added before Hinata opened her mouth, "I'm talking about meth, cocaine, PCP, and other _much_ harmful substances that get produced and smuggled in the village."

"Why us? Why me and Naruto-kun?"

She was curious because of two things. One: she didn't even know that such drugs were in existence here in Konoha; and two: really, of all people, why them? Tsunade answered her question.

"Because of Naruto's... _furry_ condition," Hinata's eyes widened in realization, she remembered when Naruto told her about the Kyuubi and how his healing rate is exponential due to it, "This ability will help him get deep undercover, first starting out as a user – which will have no effect on him – then a dealer himself, finding out the main people behind the operation.

"_You_ will be there to offer him support in any way possible. If Naruto is incapacitated you'll retrieve him, if he needs... err... props, you'll be obliged to."

Naruto scratched the back of his head absent-mindedly, "And by props you mean...?"

"Your ho in case you decide your cover will be a pimp."**  
**

All Naruto and Hinata could do was stare at the older woman in morbid shock. _Did she just say what the hell I think she said?_

The Hyuuga cleared her throat.

Naruto's right eye was twitching.

"What?" The Hokage replied, "I was just trying to get into the lingo."

The demon container shook his head, "I think I'd rather fight in a civil war than do this. Who else can do it if not me?"

"No one: you're the only person who'll be resistant to these vile drugs." She handed them the scrolls for mission details, "S-Rank, so one else but the three of us will ever know the truth behind this operation. How you do it is all up to you – you have free rein, however, if I feel that this mission is going either downhill or nowhere, I'm pulling the plug. Understood?"

The pair nodded, although the blonde did begrudgingly so.

"You're putting me in charge of a highly sensitive mission even though you told me I wasn't in the right state of mind?"

"This is different; war can twist people in many –"

"And taking numerous amounts of drugs can't?" Naruto retorted.

"Not for you."

Hinata placed her shoulder on the teen and stroked it, calming him down more effectively than any amount of alcohol could, "We'll do our best, Hokage-sama."

Naruto closed his eyes, relishing the peace, _If only I could sleep with her... wait!_ He immediately caught his thoughts, _That sounded something like Jiraiya-sensei would say, I better watch it._

"Yeah, what's the time-span?"

Tsunade furled various scrolls and kept them in her drawer, she also stamped the pair's shinobi files with a black "S" and handed them envelopes filled with ryu notes. "This mission is specially commissioned by me so your pay is coming straight from my pocket. The pay is more than enough for yourselves and the... drugs Naruto will have to purchase. You two will see me again tomorrow morning to help you get started in this. Hinata, if you sense _anything_ wrong with Naruto, you'll tell me, yes?"

The girl nodded resolutely, eyes shining with determination, "Yes."

"You never answered my question, what's the time-span?"

The Hokage pulled out her personal bottle of rice wine and took a long drag.

"As long as it takes." Was all she said before they were dismissed.

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No more than 20 minutes after their meeting with the Hokage, Naruto and Hinata headed to Ichiraku Ramen for a meal – the blonde's treat using his newly acquired cash. Naruto ate slow, subdued, prompting Hinata to ask what was wrong with him; she knew him too well.

"You know why."

"Still?" He told her about the kid that got killed during his mission, there were almost no secrets between the two of them, having grown closer ever since their joint missions as Jounin.

"Mhmm. I can't stop thinking about it, I feel... guilty, like I should have been able to do more as opposed to watch him..." The boy trailed off.

Using the same tactics to calm him down, her stroked his back tenderly, "Do you know medical jutsu?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I don't, my control's never gonna be as good as your or Tsunade's because of _it_."

The Hyuuga nodded, "Exactly, if you tried _you_ would have killed him. You did the best you could, staying with him th-through the whole thing. There was nothing more you could have done stop wallowing in the past."

"Easier said than done," He grumbled as he picked at his noodles, "I hear him, you know? Hear him crying to his mother." His voice shook with every syllable, "Every time my mind's not thinking I hear him..."

Hinata felt helpless, she didn't know what to do for him, so she did the only thing she could think of: she hugged him. Never in her wildest dreams would she have even thought of initiating a hug, accepting maybe, but never the one to give it. She was shy, demure, introverted, but despair can bring out the best in some people.

This was one of those times.

He hugged back and the two of them sat in silence, food forgotten and cold lost in their own little world where little children didn't die in your arms.

"How can I help you, Naruto-kun?" She whispered lovingly.

The boy in question said the first thing that popped into his mind, "Sleep with me."

The awkward silence that followed was silent enough that one could _hear_ paramecium splitting into two.

She didn't break the hug, but she did stiffen up, "OH! Errr... sorry, that came out wrong." He chuckled lightly, "I meant just... be with me? No, that doesn't sound too good either. Well, I guess what I'm trying to say is, you calm me down with your mere presence."

Hinata blushed lightly, happy that she was able to do that much for him at least, "And?"

"Do you think you can sleep in my apartment tonight?" _It's her or saké, and as much as I love saké I..._ He allowed his thoughts to drift away from his mind.

"Sorry Naruto-kun, I don't think I can, as much as I want to." She blushed ever so slightly, "Father will not approve, me being a girl and you being a guy."

The demon container nuzzled into her neck, "How 'bout I do my Sexy Jutsu and –"

"No."

He broke off contact, missing her warmth and peace-inducing contact, "Worth a try."

They continued eating their cold bowls of ramen.

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The Uzumaki walked Hinata home before heading into his own abode, the child's voice becoming louder and louder in his mind. He staggered into his room and reached under the bed hastily, procuring a bottle of rice wine, and drinking it down in one go.

The blonde fell with a thud, head spinning as though he had hit a wall full force, _What the hell?_

"**I did say I'll stop my healing process to make you happy,**" The demon fox snidely remarked, "**You've never experienced a hangover in your life before, so prepare yourself.**" Harsh laughter echoed throughout Naruto's mind, before being replaced by the anguished screams of the 7 year-old child.

"No... no..." He moaned.

"_It hurts, it hurts..."_

Naruto uncorked another bottle of saké and drank it hurriedly.

"_I want my mommy."_

The beverage hit him harder than he had ever felt in his entire life; he continued drinking pushing aside the fact that this was the first time the Kyuubi didn't have his back when it came to alcohol.

"_Mommy! MOMMY!"_

The demon container gagged slightly, but kept drinking if it meant pushing the voices away. He was on his third bottle and heard the screams a final time.

"_WAHHHH! MOMMY!"_

Before the troubled mind of Uzumaki Naruto promptly collapsed and forced itself to sleep...

To Be Continued~

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A/N: Please R&R, especially constructive criticisms – I always wanna improve my writing.

I think I made Tsunade a bit OOC, sorry.

Until next chapter!


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